marksheeky.co.uk
Limericks
From 2007
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A writer was thinking up rhymes
for a limerick set in old times.
When he read back the lines
he considered them crimes.
Now he doesn't write much, only mimes.

A man with a hump was afraid
after seeing a doctor he'd paid.
The doc said "Stand there,
Close your eyes and prepare."
And then he got out a big spade.

A chef in a shack in Bankok
was tasting the soup in his wok
It tasted quite odd,
like salty old cod
and smelled of his granny's old sock.

The once was a dancer named Ray
who waltzed with Samantha each day
but at night he would jig
in a kilt and a wig,
then pick up his bagpipes and play.

In New York, an artist named Pete
made paintings he could not repeat.
He would start with brown mush
and a mop for a brush
but would finish off using his feet.

There once was an artist called Mark
who painted his pics in the dark,
and on one drunken night
when he ran out of white
he used black to paint snow for a lark.

On top of the lamp post lay Clive,
repair man, and father of five.
He was working last night
on the still active light
and mixed up the earth with the live.

There once was a brick who, confused,
observed the clouds passing and mused.
What if the sky
went purple with dye
and fell down on me (then its brain fused).